Breathing

Now I have to learn to breath again. This has come as a bit of a surprise. A lot of concentration is now involved to correct my nasty habit. I am using an hypnotherapy app to help me sleep and to stop me waking up screaming because I thought I was sleeping in a cardboard box. This is my persistent nightmare since I decided to move back to the UK. I wake up, sit up and then it hits me that my nice comfortable bed will be sold soon, and I will be homeless while I settle back into the UK. The dark and cold are turning into a sort of Arctic wasteland scenario, and I am struggling to remember a time when I was warm in England. I can’t remember ever being warm in England. This all lead to a spirally mood panic in a downwards direction.

So hypnotherapy is getting me into a positive head-space to deal with such a huge change. It reminds me that I have many options, including hating the UK and getting on a plane to Italy. I call the male voice on my app, David, and he sounds very sexy and warm and possibly Canadian. I expect all his app-patients are in love with him. I certainly am. The hypnotherapy app is very good, and it is keeping me positive for now. Using the app has made me acutely aware of my sleeping position. I fall asleep on my back, and I don’t think I move much during my sleep. I also think I sleep with my mouth open and am breathing in air – very, very bad. What I need here is a devoted lover to spend the night cuddling me, so I don’t roll over onto my back. As there is a shortage of those at the moment, I must wait until little cousins are here and can pop in and check what exactly I do while asleep. So starting to be mindful of my breathing during the day and eating slowly during meals. Sent for a book on a breathing technique so I shall hope for an improvement.

It is a week of appointments: two eye appointments and the dentist, a lunch and a man coming to pick up the desk. And someone is coming to see the apartment and I have to convince them they want to give me lots of money for my old fridge and washing machine. Busy huh? And the hay fever, how could I forget that? I have a tickly face and sore, dry eyes. The pollen count will get lower so I shall just have to put up with it for a time and concentrate on my breathing.